Playoff Picks

Before I get to the Playoff picks a few more comments: 1 - poor poor poor Cleveland...I really wanted to see them in the show. Derek Anderson should be happy and Romeo Crennel definitely can sleep easier now; his job is safe. I hope they turn into a real team because that would make the AFC North an awesome division...sorta like the NFC East, a tough slugfest division. Even though the AFC South was the division to be in if you wanted to be good this year. Speaking of AFC North...in another case of 'what have you done for me lately?' Brian Billick was fired...try giving him a QB with some receivers and maybe...plus that great D can't always win games.
2 - Tennessee almost didn't beat Jim Sorgi...and it took Kerry Collins to make sure they did! I don't see a long run for the Titans minus Vince Young. Also nice class to Tony Dungy for making sure Reggie Wayne stayed in long enough to get to 100+ receptions and 1500+ yards...great for him though I'm sure that will end up costing the Colts front office a cool Million$ or so in bonus money, all of which he deserves with no Marvin all year nearly.
3 - Redskins...I don't think I need say more, even if it was only the B team Cowboys...it was only Todd Collins.

Now to the picks:
Wildcard weekend:
Redskins over Seahawks - I see too much momentum and emotion having been built for the Skins to get knocked out on Saturday. Seattle wouldn't be a playoff team in the AFC where they used to wallow in obscurity...hell the Arizona Cardinals would have been in for the NFC West if they had won one more game against Seattle. Hasselback has always been overrated, and his sister in law is more famous than he is for fighting with Rosie anyhow. Shaun Alexander...doesn't make me quiver in fear, but their D line is ok with Kearney. Still, I see Joe Gibbs motivating a team that no one would have questioned had their season fallen apart, and their Cinderella-ish run (a la Saints last season) continuing...

Jaguars over Steelers - is this even considered an upset? Seeing as how we've already seen it happen in the last month? This time there isn't even a Willie Parker for the Black and Yellow...and this isn't the steel jawed Bill Cohwer era Steelers, though Mike Tomlin is very good. I see the tandem of Jones-Drew and Taylor being the difference maker...if Parker was playing then I see it coming down to who can manage the game better: Big Ben or David (barely an INT) Gerrard (on a separate note, has there been a White QB on the JAX roster since Brunell was there? - this being a good thing not a complaint). Jags are the team no one wants to meet in the playoffs for a reason...

Giants over Bucs - wow I could say I hardly care about this game and I think many would agree with me...might we have the lowest ratings of the 4 games this weekend? Methinks yes. I pick the Giants solely because their performance against the Patriots was impressive, and I think they get their shit together at the right time. Bradon Jacobs is a beast, Tiki who? and the old man show of Jeff Garcia and Joey Galloway isn't going to do all that much, but then again I have seen no Bucs games this year at all...where's that Chris Simms kid? and remember when they wanted Jake the Snake? I'd say things worked out just fine and Jeff Garcia is proving a winner, last year in Philly as well, 49ers, I think he might even have been on one of the better Browns teams of past years...so Giants, just b/c I've seen them play a few, but if Eli plays Eli then all bets are off.

Chargers over Titans - this is the easiest pick of the weekend for me. Vince Young with a sore quad means Kerry Collins, who though capable, will not pose much threat to the Bolts, I see Merriman eating him up. Chris Brown and LenDale White, Travis Henry, you are no LT, Michael Turner and Darren Sproles...lol. Bo Scaife is not even in the same stratosphere as Antonio Gates, and Phillip Rivers can hold his shit together hopefully. He will actively have to lose the game for his team. LT LT and LT some more...

so your winners to sum up: Skins, Jags, Giants, Bolts.

which sets up:
Skins @ Dallas
Giants @ Green Bay
Jags @ New England....thats a game I won't miss...I can almost see the castle collapsing now...
Chargers @ Indy...another possibly interesting game...could you imagine Jags @ Bolts for AFC title??? nice.

enjoy the games.

I hate the Patriots.

its as simple as the title.
I've hated them for a loooong time.
Not that I was a huge Drew Bledsoe fan, but I didn't like how he was chopped liver after the boy wonder arrived.
I hate the boy wonder
I hate his smug its a team effort attitude...ya of course it is, Cheating is a team effort.
and anyone who has that kind of protection and randy moss to throw to can't do too bad (see Daunte Culpepper)
I hated when you beat the Rams for the Super Bowl, that took it to a new level.
I hate every time you hoist the trophy
I hate that the boy wonder had sex with Bridget Moynahan...
I hate that he isn't even with her after knocking her ass up.
I hate that the Giants got so close...and that it had to be on TV when I was at the bar.
I hate that the Jets didnt' pull it off
I hate that the Eagles didn't and I hate that the Ravens didn't
I hate Robert Kraft, I REALLY hate Bill Bellichek (BUY A NEW FUCKING SWEATER, PEOPLE ON WELFARE ARE DRESSED BETTER THAN YOU) Show some respect to those who came before...Paul Brown, Vince Lombardi, Tom Landry, Ditka, they would all kick the shit out of you.
your team is not the greatest team ever, and I pray that you get your ass handed to you in the playoffs...there are some great scenarios at play...
Indy could do it, and repeat, Favre could do it and show up the supposed golden boy.
Romo could do it to avenge the earlier loss, but for that to happen Jessica Simpson would have to be elsewhere...heck the Giants could do it if they had another crack at them...
and the way the Redskins are, I pray for the chance to see that.
and that's ignoring the whole AFC who ain't too shabby either...Jags, Steelers, Bolts, (Colts already mentioned) and hopefully the Browns...
either way, anyway you slice it, I hate the Patriots.
I hate them more than I hate the Leafs, I hate them more than I hate the Russians at the World Juniors, more than the Americans in Olympic Hockey, more than the 1987 Minnesota Twins who robbed me of seeing another Cardinals World Series win until nearly 20 years later, and I hate them more than the idiot Ump who cost the Cardinals the 1985 Series against the KC Royals...I hate them more than the Yankees.
I hate them more than hate should be allowed. Now thanks be to someone and lets hope they lose, because that 16-1, 17-1 or 18-1 would be even more memorable....

Cele-Brett This one.

Ok that might be my worst pun of all time, but we'll see if any other journos use it, if not then I'm surprised, or just a lot of editors have better taste than mine.

I would write about how much snow there was and how in Ottawa, it wasn't even all that more than we've had in previous 3-5 snowstorms IN THE LAST 3 WEEKS!, but we all know it, snow snow snow ya, I like it and it didn't affect me working at home and all...suckers...

Instead I just wanted to acknowledge the biggest milestone so far in Brett Favre's milestone season, which, thanks to Michael Westbrook and co., may even have his Packers as top seed in the NFC? (Honestly Who the F would have predicted that in August, or even October) Favre is the most prolific passer in NFL history, along with having thrown the most TDs, won most as a starter, and not missed a game since I was in grade 7 I think.

I enjoy this for reasons twofold: Primarily, though I am a Rams fan (and yes how interesting for it to come in STL against my team, I kind of find it fitting, though maybe it should have come against a more classic rival, like the Vikes or Bears, but I'm not going to be choosey, and this way its more likely Steve will appreciate it than it coming against the men in purple [wow that sounds far more gay than I had thought]) I have always been a fan of the Favre, and just how he plays the game, sometimes shooting from the hip instead of being a game manager like Ben Rothlisberger or a Field Technician like Tom Brady or Peyton Manning. Brett Favre always, always seems to have heart on the field, and the sheer enjoyment you see in him when he runs down to hug a receiver who catches one of his TDs is always nice. He seems like the game keeps him young, so why walk away? Hell the way he's playing he's in the Pro Bowl. All this after he was written off. So back to this, first reason, Favre is one of my faves, and always will be.

Farvre looking like Grizzly Adams Above, and in days gone by with the Ginormous Neck Vein Judo posing Marino.

The Second reason is a little more petty...I hate Dan Marino. Despise, fart in his general direction, scoff, bite my thumb at him and so on and so forth. He's a douche, the WORST actor I've ever seen (remember Ace Ventura? - Don't tell me that Something about Mary wasn't better than that) and he's not even a winner. John Elway was always his biggest rival, and I'm sorry but even before Elway won back-to-back Super Bowls and then rode off into the sunset in the perfect way (with no Jordanesqye returns), he was always the better QB to me. If I had to come from behind I'd take Elway in a second. If I had to inspire I'd take Elway, hell, if I had to scramble and dive over into the endzone and get spun silly in the process...Fuck who am I kidding, you all know you'd never see Marino do that. Marino simply had the stats, and the stats seemed to mean more to him than they should have. He made the Super Bowl yes, but so what. Elway made the Super Bowl, lost, then made it back again. I also hated how Marino was on CBS NFL broadcasts when Shannon Sharpe or Boomer Esiason would tease him about Favre getting to the TD record, he didn't seem like he was at all pleased, whereas if Peyton Manning stays healthy and breaks Favre's record somewhere down the road, then I could see Favre being more than happy for him. I have no idea how Marino reacted to the yardage record and I don't care, but hahaha. I guess the Dolphins had to win today just so Marino wouldn't have to hear about losing the record and his team blowing goats.

So in summation, your honour...Favre rules, Marino drools. (wouldn't that be a great closing statement?)

Excruciating Agony, thy name is Kidney Stone.

Well I have been meaning to add some new entries, about numerous topics, from the NFL Season, Sean Taylor, Green Bay, Hating the Patriots, Movies (No Country for Old Men is my movie of the year) Fred Claus is more cute family movie than usual VV laughfest but still quite funny, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (who woulda thunk it that Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer would make one of the best 'buddy movie' tandems in many many years? but they did) 3 Burials of Meliquades Estrada (Tommy Lee Jones never fails to be great, and I think the Western is making a comeback), and the season (we have a whole lot of snow for the 2nd week of December).

But I didn't, and here's why, I've been working with the contract running out of time, and then out of nowhere on Sunday night, I was slapped hard by the agony of Kidney Stones...

I pride myself on being able to deal with a lot of stress, pain, etc., as you can ask those who know me, but wow, THIS was P-A-I-N. I've never been in that amount before...
And it doesn't help when you end up in the ER 3 nights in a row and it isn't until the 3rd night that you get a competent English speaking doctor who explains what exactly is wrong and how exactly you're going to live through it.
Suffice it to say I was higher than Lindsay Lohan getting out of Rehab in time for her birthday.
and I've managed to stay at home for more than 14 hrs now!

I won't prattle on about boohoo it hurts, but fuCK me in the goat ass...That shit HURTS...the nurse even said women who've had stones and natural childbirth would take another childbirth minus meds before the stones...that is all you need to know.

Until next time, I'm alive and reminding you all to drink lots of water, and don't be a hero if you're in agony...that's what the joy of free pain meds in Canada is all about.